Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Love Vs. Arranged Marriage

Friends, highlights of today. My older son graduated from middle school today. Just came back from the graduation ceremony. Spoke to a friend after a long time. Felt good. Eating cadburys chocolate (yummy) as I am typing this.

Funny thing when people discuss Arranged marriage Vs Love marriage.
It is like asking someone is suicide better than being hanged…

Love aur Arranged Marriage mein kya faraq hai?
Love Marriage mein aap apni girlfriend se shadi kartay hain. Aur arranged marriage mein kisi aur ki girlfriend se.

These jokes have some truth to them. The topic is highly debatable across the globe especially in the eastern countries where arranged marriages are more common. Both types have pros and cons. In love marriages, you fall in love first and then get married. People might expect more from their partner. Knowing the person too well before marriage may take away the excitement of mystery after marriage or actually help understand the person to avoid any clashes. Not sure. People have told me that parents use their experience and wisdom to make the choice for their children in an arranged marriage. Do the parents come to find out if their children live happily ever after? It is a fact that women remain in abusive relationships to maintain their family pride and respect. Parents would have selected the other family based on mutual interest between the two parties. How many times have we heard the word "status"?  In this way, the arranged marriage can be considered a business merger or even an alliance between two families. Good or bad not sure.  I have noticed that two people cannot agree on everything, all the time. It's impossible!  Each person has his or her own mind and has their own identity. It's only after living with the other person for some years, would you know that person fully, or else the other person is always trying to put his or her best foot forward and there is no scope to understand the person completely.There is no correct answer.  I believe in the institution of marriage and I agree that it's a gamble either ways. Mine was an arranged marriage and from my experience, I think, COMPROMISE is the right word to describe a successful marriage. Are marriages REALLY made in heaven?


  1. Interesting topic and very nicely written Maya! And as you rightly say COMPROMISE is the word to describe a successful marriage.
    Compromise = Com + Promise. Now what is the meaning of the prefix ‘com’ ? It’s ‘Together’ or ‘with’! And Promise is "declaration made about the future, about some act to be done or not done". So ‘Compromise’ is a promise made together to abide by certain rules and ways of day to day life; about who will DO WHAT and what somebody will NOT do!!! COMPROMISE is thus also realistically accepting each other’s expectations and needs as well as sharing jobs, tasks and responsibilities!! If that makes a marriage successful then so be it – COMPROMISE!!

  2. Thanks Prassana. Well said! Promise made together nice! Com means together? Did not know that.

  3. Well Maya, I also did not know it! I got the meaning of COM from Answers.com!!

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